


Jealous/Hopeless

by lovexyou



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Girls Kissing, Homophobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secret Relationship, Teenage Drama, eventually, i promise you a happy ending and I Will Deliver
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-07-10 13:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15950303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovexyou/pseuds/lovexyou
Summary: In which Lisa spends most of high school trying to pretend she's not hopelessly in love with Jennie.ORJennie hates roses until Lisa gives her one.





	1. Prologue: and this is how it starts

**Author's Note:**

> this is going to be a wild rollercoaster of emotions and you're going to Enjoy it.
> 
> And, let's be honest here. I can't write angst without eventually giving it a happy ending. The words hurt if I don't, they leave paper cuts!

There's a girl who always chooses to sit alone in any crowded room, one that most people don’t care to notice. Lisa couldn't help but feel a sense of curiosity the first time she saw her, enough that Lisa always tries to find her. They've never spoken, mostly because they had no reason to, but the girl walked around the hallways like a ghost and Lisa couldn't help but wonder why.

 

There's really no reason to notice her. She comes to school with light touches of makeup on, and she’s one of the few students who haven’t altered or, as the school board puts it, “damaged” her uniform. She blends in well into her status of a loner, sitting at her usual table filled with empty seats in a crowded lunchroom. Lisa’s never seen her eat more than an apple. There’s other loners, too, other outcasts, but they tend to find one another and yet they never approach her. For some reason, everyone seemed to either be avoiding this girl or ignoring her. Everyone, except maybe Lisa, who was too curious for her own good.

 

While everyone collectively avoids acknowledging the girl who’s always alone, Lisa can’t help but feel a sense of yearning. There was something about this girl that interested Lisa, something about her aura.

 

Lisa first noticed her at the start of the year, sharing a single class with her. There was an odd number of students in that class, which resulted with this elusive girl choosing to do her own projects. Lisa wanted to include her, but wasn't sure how to. She didn't even know the girl’s name.

 

Lisa knows that she shouldn't think too much about her. There must be a reason why she’s alone, right? Some teenage drama that convinced everyone that this girl isn't worth the trouble, or maybe that she simply prefers to be alone. It could be that she had a bad personality, but nothing about her seemed to indicate so. Thoughts like these just made Lisa more curious about her.

 

She probably just prefers to be alone. Lisa wonders with an incessant curiosity, but why is it that everyone else lets her be? Why doesn't anyone ever _try?_

 

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Chaeyoung pouts, snapping her fingers in front of Lisa.

 

“Nope.” Lisa shifts her gaze away to focus on Chaeyoung.

 

“Aish, rude!” Chaeyoung frowns at her.

 

“Be more entertaining then,” Lisa quips, pushing Chae lightly with her shoulder.

 

Jisoo chuckles softly at the two. “What’s distracting you anyway?”

 

“Her,” Lisa nods her head towards the girl sitting alone, “She seems lonely. I feel bad.”

 

Chaeyoung glances and immediately flinches when she sees who Lisa was referring to.

 

Jisoo has a less dramatic reaction, simply shifting in her seat to lean a little closer and lowering her voice. “I've tried talking to her before but I don’t think she likes me very much. Or likes anyone. No need to worry about her, though. She’s just like that.”

 

“Still.” Lisa frowns, looking at the girl again. “You guys didn't let  _ me  _ be alone when I moved here. Maybe-”

 

“Lisa, you’re too nice for your own good,” Chaeyoung interrupts, smiling softly at the maknae in their friend group.

 

Lisa’s frown deepens and a pout forms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Jisoo smiles. “It means that you don’t  _ have  _ to befriend every single human being you come across.”

 

“So?” Lisa pouts and crosses her arms in front of herself. “That's not a good reason. Give me _one_ good reason why I shouldn't.”

 

The bell conveniently rings at that very moment, prompting Jisoo to chuckle and mumble  _ this is one  _ while gathering her stuff.

 

~

 

Lisa purposefully chooses to sit closer to the girl. She planned on striking a conversation but she doesn't know why the words die in her tongue, why her heart beats faster and a sense of anxiety runs through her system. She felt weird, and if Lisa didn't know any better, it almost seemed like this girl was giving her butterflies.

 

Because Lisa couldn't help but notice how pretty she is, the light from the windows falling with dim tones on her skin. Her eyes move lazily over the page, reading over the instructions. She holds her pen between her pointer and her middle finger, occasionally tapping it against her palm. 

 

Everything she does is oddly enchanting. She looks like she should have boys fawning all over her 24/7—she looks like  _ royalty _ .

 

She yawns, covering her mouth with her sleeves, and Lisa has to look away before her heart just about _dies_ over the cuteness.

 

~

 

It’s early morning. They’re in the school's garden, specifically in a part where all the roses had grown wild and none of the garden club members tried to fix it up anymore. The roses made the girl a bit more intimidating, as they crept around the bench she was sitting in like a throne, the petals red like blood.

 

Lisa managed to bite back her anxiety this time, though her face felt warm and her heart was being loud.

 

She sits down next to the girl, who raises her head to look at Lisa but doesn't really react. The girl simply lowers her head and goes back to reading her book.

 

She’s wearing an oversized sweater over her uniform, bundled up under the fabric while she reads. Her features occasionally change, maybe concealing her reaction to whatever goes on in that book she’s reading, and a slow smile comes to fruition the more immersed she gets. She looks like a cat that needs to be cuddled just for the mere fact that she’s being adorable without meaning to. Lisa subconsciously smiles. 

 

In an attempt to seem like she’s not here to be creepy, Lisa pulls out her drawing notebook and a pencil. She holds her pencil between slightly shaky fingers and tries to will herself to  _ chill _ . The notebook sits patiently in her lap until Lisa sighs and opens it to a random empty page. It’s a little small for a notebook, snugly fitting into Lisa’s left hand as she draws with her right, but it’s already filled with Lisa’s little doodles over the years, so she still doesn't want to get a new one.

 

Lisa finds herself doodling a cat raising their little paw. The drawing is one of her better doodles, which was almost something to be proud of if it weren't so simple.

 

The school bell rings Lisa goes to close her notebook, but stops. Her heart had calmed down some but now it was back to thumping against her chest in a quick pace. She rips out the page, being careful not to mess it up, writes something on it quickly, and places it on the bench before quickly packing the rest of her things and leaving for her first period.

 

~

 

The next day, the girl comes a little late to class. The teacher glares at her for interrupting his class, but simply continues with the lecture after seeing that it’s her.

 

She sits down at her desk as quiet as possible and opens her textbook.

 

“Lisa, do me a favor and help her,” the teacher says while writing on the board their next test date on the material they just went over.

 

Lisa moves her chair a little closer to the girl’s. “We’re on page 273,” Lisa mumbles, pointing at the textbook. 

 

The girl nods and quickly tries to find the right page.

 

“You didn't miss much, so don’t worry,” Lisa says absentmindedly, distracted with how awfully pretty this girl is. “Um, we were just going over the vocab again, and he started ranting about how he hated his college professors. He mentioned something about theories but then he got distracted with his rant again.”

 

The girl stops at the right page, the tips of her mouth rising up in a smile, and she quickly glances at Lisa and nods in thanks. “Sounds eventful.”

 

Lisa smiles back. “Not more than usual when you’re here.”

 

The girl’s eyebrows furrow. “What if I’m not usually here?” she vaguely questions.

 

Lisa tilts her head a bit to the side, unsure of what that’s supposed to mean. “You’re usually here, though?”

 

The girl’s eyes widen a bit, her expressions seeming more bubbly. “You notice me?”

 

Lisa looks away from the girl, turning towards the textbook and trying to read through it instead. She bites her lower lip and nods, before trying to focus fully on the class.

 

There’s still about twenty minutes left but at this point, but the teacher’s voice just drawls  _ on  _ and  _ on  _ and  _ on _ .

 

And then a familiar drawing slides across Lisa’s desk, stopping short of falling into her lap.

 

“Jennie,” the girl mumbles under her breath, catching Lisa’s eye again.

 

“Huh?”

 

“My name’s Jennie.” She smiles for half a second, but it’s gone as quickly as it appears. Even so, Lisa can’t help but feel like she’s never seen a more beautiful smile. “I thought you’d like to know.”

 

It’s the same drawing Lisa had left her, the only difference being that the cat now was holding a rose that was drawn in a noticeably cartoonish art style that just made Lisa smile. It looked large on the page, and beautiful in it’s vibrant style.

 

Lisa raises her head and turns towards Jennie, thinking that she should properly introduce herself now, but the teacher is walking between their desks at that moment and doesn't try to conceal his blatant glaring at Lisa when he notices she’s not paying more of her attention to the class, so she just turns back to pretending that her heart isn't going a mile a minute just because Jennie  _ smiled  _ at her.

 

~

 

When someone sees Lisa hurriedly walking off at lunch, they could correctly assume that she was busy and probably had something important to do. After all, she quickly gained a reputation as a social butterfly when she moved here and she frequently participates in, well,  _ everything.  _ E specially since she's a cheerleader. Because of this, no one thought too much about how she wasn't around very often lately, and whenever one of her friends  _ did  _ ask, Lisa could quickly make a believable excuse on the fly. She was usually busy  _ before _ , so it’s not like much has changed. The fact that she’s moved everything in her schedule to accommodate building this slow friendship with Jennie is a minor detail.

 

Well, maybe that’s being a bit too oblivious.

 

Lisa couldn't deny that she’s doing a lot for this girl, but that’s just because she wants to add Jennie into her growing list of friends. Emphasis on  _ friends _ . Right? Lisa couldn’t deny those awful butterflies fluttering around in her stomach, but that’s probably just her regular anxiety acting up like it usually does. And  _ anyone  _ would fine Jennie attractive if they stared for longer than three seconds. Honestly, Lisa’s still surprised that Jennie doesn’t have a flock of pursuers willing to do anything just to see her smile, boys and girls both.

 

(She ignores how happy it makes her whenever the stars align and Lisa sees Jennie smile at her.)

 

It’s hard not to notice how weird she’s been acting over Jennie, but Lisa just doesn’t wanna think about it for too long. Overthinking things just makes Lisa act weird, and she doesn’t want to weird out Jennie. Or anyone. But mostly she doesn't wanna weird out Jennie, since she’s Lisa’s current infatuation.

 

(Infatuation?)

 

She finds herself sitting in that bench in the garden, drawing Jennie herself this time in messy little lines of ink, and the stressful thoughts of having so much to  _ do  _ pollutes her brain. Still, she likes being here. The roses have a gentle scent and Jennie doesn’t require nearly as much energy to be around than most of Lisa's other friends. It’s  _ fine _ . This is fine. Yeah, there’s more productive things she could be doing, but she deserves a little break from the fluster of popularity, right? And it’s not like anyone is missing her too much. She’s allowed to spend some time doing nothing important. It’s relaxing… so long as Lisa’s not stressing herself over all the things she’ll have to start doing once this time is over.

 

“Am I holding a rose?” Jennie asks curiously, having taken a break from reading to look over at Lisa’s drawing.

 

Lisa nods. “It’s cute, don’t you think?”

 

“Yes, it looks prettier than the ones here,” Jennie agrees. “Scratch that, any rose that isn’t real is already good.”

 

Lisa interprets Jennie’s compliment as a direct attack on the roses around them than just a compliment. “Hey, don’t say that, the roses might hear you and get sad!”

 

Jennie can’t help but smile at Lisa’s childishness, biting her lower lip in an attempt to avoid showing it. Then she scoots closer, grabbing a rose that was just behind Lisa’s head. She pulls it out of its place and twirls it around her fingers.

 

Lisa doesn’t know why she finds herself blushing at Jennie being just slightly closer to her. “I-it’s pretty, right? Tell the rose it’s pretty, unnie.”

 

Jennie takes Lisa’s hand and places it softly on her open palm. Then she lifts her fingers up and reveals the little marks the thorns made. “Pretty, yeah, but when they cause pain then it’s not worth it anymore.”

 

Lisa lets the rose fall on her lap and grabs Jennie’s hand between hers-

 

“Hold on, I think I have some bandaids in my bag.”

 

Jennie’s eyebrows furrow. “Why do you have-”

 

Lisa snaps her fingers. “No, we should clean it first! Just in case.”

 

“That’s really not-”

 

“Come with me, we need to wash your hands. You’re not bleeding, right?” She checks to makes sure.

 

Jennie rolls her eyes. “That’s not the point, Lisa.”

 

Lisa’s eyebrows scrunch up. She stands up and tries to drag Jennie up too. “Who cares about the point when you hurt yourself?”

 

“The point is,” Jennie continues regardless, “Roses aren’t worth it.”

 

“You drew a rose on that drawing, though,” Lisa points out and manages to get Jennie to stand up.

 

“I did.”

 

Lisa pauses for a moment. “It made me really happy when you did that. So, I think they’re worth it.”

 

Jennie stops Lisa from going any further. A few steps more and they would pass by the lunchroom, and would probably be seen by dozens if not hundreds of other students. “Hey, are you sure you want to be seen with me? I can just go alone, you know.”

 

Lisa raises her eyebrows in complete confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

Jennie stares at her for a moment, then anxiously glances back at the crowd of students hanging out right outside. “It’s fine, I’ll be back in a moment.” And then she’s gone, too quick for Lisa to stop her.

 

~

 

They meet in the garden often, as it's hidden away from everything. It feels comfortable to talk to someone with an entirely different perspective than Lisa’s general social circle. It’s entertaining in a way. Though Lisa still doesn’t understand why she keeps getting the random urge to just hug Jennie really tight for no reason except that she looks adorable 24/7. She doesn’t follow through with the urge, but it’s a bit distracting whenever she notices it. Jennie’s partially oblivious to it, which is good, except that she occasionally teases Lisa about it.

 

Currently, Lisa was drawing Jennie. She was trying to capture her beauty, but it didn’t translate as fluently into the page, and it was leaving her a bit frustrated.

 

Jennie lifts her head up after finishing her book, closing her eyes for a couple seconds. Then, she looks towards Lisa and notices the drawing. “You’re drawing me, huh?”

 

Lisa just pouts. “It’s not good enough.”

 

“It looks really good, though. I think you’re getting better.”

 

Lisa slams the notebook shut, too frustrated to even look at the drawing any longer. “It’s not- I’m not. I can’t get the details right.”

 

“You could just take art next semester,” Jennie suggests. “And I can take it with you! That would be fun, don’t you think?”

 

Lisa still pouts.

 

“No need to get all pouty over it…” Jennie shifts a little closer. “I like your drawings and I wanna see you become even better, so don’t pout, okay?”

 

Lisa is _s_ __till_ _ pouting.

 

“If you pout any longer, I’m going to  _ have  _ to kiss you,” Jennie threatens randomly.

 

Lisa blushes, dropping the pout immediately. “W-what…?”

 

“Hey, you should come over sometime,” Jennie offers randomly, scooting back to her original side of the bench.

 

“ _ W-what? _ ”

 

“I said, you should come over.” Jennie smiles at her, tilting her head. “I only ever see you at school, and I don’t even  _ like  _ school.”

 

“I-I can make you like school…!” Lisa answers just to say something, not really focused enough on the words that are coming out of her mouth and more focused on how ethereal Jennie looks when she’s staring at her and smiling and just purely existing.  _ Oh no. _

 

“That’s a bold claim,” Jennie says, her voice a bit muffled because the bell rings at that exact moment. She gets up and puts her book inside her bag, smirking at Lisa when Lisa makes no move to get up. “Anyway, you really should come by.”

 

Lisa nods dumbly, staring up at Jennie with an awed expression.

 

“Give me your phone.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I promise I won’t steal it,” Jennie jokes, and even giggles a bit. “It’s so I can put my number in.”

 

Lisa nods slowly and pulls out her phone, passing it to Jennie.

 

“And then we can _text_...” Jennie says as she puts her number in, emphasizing the word  _ text  _ like it’s the reason why she’s currently biting her lower lip in an attempt to stop herself from smiling.

 

“T-that would be nice,” Lisa says, still not recovered from her state of panic. If anything, it’s getting  _ worse _ .

 

“And then I can send you my address,” Jennie continues, giving Lisa her phone back and smiling widely. It’s a smile that makes Lisa’s stomach flutter up with an entire forest of butterflies and  _ oh no. _

 

Lisa stares at her phone, knowing that Jennie might blind her with her smile if Lisa looks at it for too long. Jennie put her name in as  _ Jennie <3 _ and it’s making Lisa’s heart go  _ whoosh _ .

 

“And then you can come over.”

 

~

 

A couple things may have passed through Lisa’s mind as she made the short walk to Jennie’s house, most of those things being the result of an overly active imagination and, well, anxiety. But when she actually got there, it wasn't anything she really expected.

 

“So you live alone?” Lisa asks, swishing the tea bag in her cup. She was sitting on the couch while Jennie came back from the kitchen with her own cup of tea.

 

“Yup.” Jennie says, sitting next to Lisa. “Sorry about the mess.”

 

Jennie’s place wasn’t really messy per se. It was disorderly, with books piling around randomly and everything being just sort of thrown around with no actual organization, but it wasn't really messy. Everything was pretty clean and it looked well-kept.

 

Lisa tries to maneuver the tea bag around and takes a sip of her tea.

 

“I honestly didn’t think you’d come by,” Jennie admits, looking down at her tea.

 

“Oh, really? Why?”

 

Jennie shrugs. She doesn’t raise her head to look at Lisa, instead taking a quick sip of her tea. “I dunno. Your friends don’t like me very much, so I thought they’d tell you to avoid me or something by now.”

 

Lisa turns her body towards Jennie, placing her cup on the table. “What do you mean?”

 

Jennie chuckles. “I mean you’re one of  _ them _ . You’re popular, you’re stunning, you’re even a cheerleader.”

 

Lisa raises an eyebrow, still confused about what Jennie means by that.

 

“Why would someone like you want to…You know...” Jennie lifts her eyes up to look at Lisa, “Hang out with someone like me?”

 

“You’re fun to hang out with,” Lisa answers almost too fast. “And you’re really pretty! You could probably be really popular, Jendeukie.”

 

Jennie smiles shyly. Then her eyebrows furrow, and she hesitates to ask  _ but _ , “Do you know why I’m not one of you?”

 

“You mean, why you’re not popular?” Lisa asks to clarify. “I really don’t know. You’re really pretty and charming and you’re a really nice person. Honestly, I’m surprised you don’t have like a horde of admirers or something.”

 

“Do  _ you  _ have a horde of admirers?” Jennie asks jokingly, giggling a bit and taking another sip of her drink.

 

“No, but they’re growing!” Lisa laughs.

 

Jennie’s eyes widen. “Really?”

 

“Yeah, there’s this one dude—I think his name is like Jungkook or something—and he’s slowly infiltrating my friend group and I bet he’s just dying for a good moment to ask me out! Honestly, it’s kinda cute and kinda sad at the same time.”

 

“Really?” Jennie can’t help but giggle. “Why? You don’t like him?”

 

Lisa hesitates for a moment. “No, I… I guess I don’t. I don’t wanna break his heart or anything, but I’ll feel bad if he  _ does  _ ask me out and I have to tell him no.”

 

“You shouldn’t date someone out of pity.” Jennie downs the rest of her drink. “Trust me, it’s not worth it. I used to date this one guy because I didn’t have the heart to tell him no, and I still regret it so much.”

 

Lisa nods, moving the tea a bit and watching it swirl around.

 

“No matter what, you should be honest with your feelings,” Jennie tells her, scooting a little closer. “So if you don’t want to date him, then don’t. But if you genuinely feel like there’s something there, then you should go for it.”

 

Lisa looks at her for a moment too long before asking, “How can you tell when you like someone?”

 

Jennie chuckles. “That I can’t tell you. For me, I just become happier with them. I start laughing a little easier, and I’m happy whenever I see them.”

 

Lisa catches on quickly. “You like someone? Like right now?”

 

“Yup. Guess who.”

 

“Do you talk to them often?” Lisa asks, leaning forwards a bit without noticing.

 

“Yup. They’re really cute, so I’m happy that I see them everyday,” Jennie hints.

 

“But you normally hang out with me, though…”

 

“That is also correct.”

 

“Wait… you-?” Lisa starts but is interrupted.

 

“It’s getting kinda dark outside,” Jennie says offhandedly, standing up. “Maybe you should get going.”

 

“But-”

 

Jennie looks away, not wanting to look at Lisa right now. “You know, I shouldn’t have let this go on for so long. Really, you should just stay with your friends instead of trying to find me.” She glances at Lisa but it  _ hurts  _ a little too much. “You have a lot of things going for you and I don’t want to change that. If someone finds out that we’re hanging out, then rumors will spread and I don’t know how to handle that. I don’t  _ want  _ you to have to handle that.” Jennie bites her lower lip. “So, I wanted to tell you that we should just stop hanging out-”

 

“I like you,” Lisa confesses, and saying it just makes it more real. “I don’t want to stop hanging out with you. I  _ really _ , really like you.”

 

Jennie looks back at Lisa, surprised but still not sure about, well, anything. “Lisa, if they treated me like this, what makes you think they’ll treat you any better? We really can’t- you really shouldn’t-”

 

“Is that… Is that why…?” Lisa tries to ask, but Jennie’s at the verge of tears and she doesn’t know how to ask it.

 

“I’m sorry, I-I just didn’t know how to push you away and it was just so  _ nice  _ to have someone again but we really  _ can’t  _ and I  _ don’t  _ want this for you, Lisa.” Jennie’s starting to sniffle, face heating up with tears right at the edge, just about ready to fall, “I  _ can’t  _ let this happen to you, Lisa. You’re too good.”

 

“So what, as if _you_ deserved it?” Lisa envelops Jennie in a hug, softly kissing Jennie’s temple. “You don’t deserve it. I can’t just let you go now.”

 

Jennie accepts the hug, burying her face in Lisa’s shoulder. Jennie never knew how much she craved to be held like this, to have someone hold her without an ounce of revulsion or disgust.

 

“No one deserves this,” Lisa says softly.

 

“I shouldn’t have invited you,” Jennie admits, trying to slow down her breathing and trying to calm down. “I didn’t stop to think it through, and I don’t want to hurt you, and I just-”

 

“It’s okay, Jennie,” Lisa tells her, massaging her back in slow circles. “But I’m not gonna let you go.”

 

Jennie shakes her head and hugs Lisa a little tighter. “You have to. Y-you need to, Lisa. I know you haven’t been here for that long but this won’t work. Not with people like that all around you and-”

 

“I don’t care about them, I care about  _ you _ .”

 

“I’m sorry- I’m so, so sorry,” Jennie cried. “It hurts but I can’t let you go through that, I can’t!”

 

“They don’t need to know,” Lisa whispers, more so to try and calm down Jennie. “Everything will be okay, Jennie, you don’t have to cry.”

 

Jennie shakes her head and further buries herself into Lisa, her figure shaking with sobs. “I’m sorry,” she keeps saying, “I’m sorry, I  _ can’t _ .”

 

~

 

It started raining heavily, the sky thundering with threats of a storm.

 

“So you can’t pick me up?” Lisa asks, having tried unsuccessfully to call her dad on the phone and now, the one time he picks up, he’s too caught up in work.

 

“ _ Can’t you ask your friend if she can take you? _ ” he asks. Lisa can hear him typing furiously in the background.

 

“Ah, no.” Lisa glances at Jennie, who had fallen asleep in the couch after tiring herself out crying.

 

“ _ Well, can’t you stay with her then? _ ” Lisa’s dad suggests, his voice suddenly lowering in volume when a bit of roaring thunder gets caught in the line of the phone and muffles him. “ _ I really don’t want you walking in this type of weather. You really should have taken the car, you know. _ ”

 

“That seems like a good idea. And don’t work yourself too hard, okay?”

 

“ _ I promise I won’t. _ ” There’s a pause, but then he continues. “ _ And this friend of yours, you trust her, right? If you really want me to, I can see if I can get out early- _ ”

 

“She’s a good friend,” Lisa interrupts, gazing down at the sleeping girl that a few weeks ago was more of a stranger and less than a friend. “Don’t worry too much.”

 

“ _ Okay, that’s good. Be careful? _ ”

 

“I will, dad, I will.”

 

As Lisa finishes the call, Jennie shifts, maybe waking up from the thunder and the pouring rain.

 

“Lisa?”

 

“I’m here,” Lisa answers, smiling softly.

 

Jennie sits up, looking towards the one window with eyes still blurry with sleep. “Ah, it’s raining really strong.”

 

“Yeah. I’m going to have to stay here, if that’s fine with you.”

 

Jennie hesitates, but nods. “I’m sorry for inviting you over. This was a mess, honestly.” Jennie chuckles a bit, but there’s no light in her laugh. “I didn’t expect it to go that way.”

 

“What  _ did  _ you expect?” Lisa asks, more curious than not.

 

“I dunno. I guess I thought that I would tell you and that you would be disgusted? Maybe? Usually that works. Most people I tell stop trying to stay after that.”

 

Lisa shifts closer, then lays her head on Jennie’s shoulder. “Everything will be fine.”

 

Jennie sighs. “You don’t know that.”

 

“No, but I’ll make sure of it,” Lisa assures her. “I want to stay. Will you let me stay with you?”

 

It’s a question with a double meaning. The first, whether or not Lisa can stay while the sky cries it’s sorrows through rain and thunder. The second, whether or not Jennie will allow herself to love again.

 

“I… I can try to let you stay.” Jennie bites her lower lip. “No one’s here to see you. I guess this is alright.”

 

Lisa smiles widely, and basically jumps into Jennie to hug her.

 

“Hey, chill, you’re gonna break me,” Jennie can’t help but laugh, and this time it’s a bit more like her usual laugh.

 

Lisa leans away for a moment. She’s over Jennie, and this realization makes her breath get caught in her throat. “I…”

 

“You what?” Jennie tilts her head, staring up at Lisa like she holds the stars in the sky.

 

“I want to kiss you,” Lisa confesses, and it immediately makes her face go red.

 

Jennie’s eyes go wide. “Y-you do? Are you sure, Lisa?”

 

Lisa nods, though really nervous and anxious that she might mess it up somehow. “I like you a lot.”

 

“I promise I won’t let what happened to me happen to you,” Jennie tells her. “I don’t know how, but I promise.”

 

Lisa smiles softly, then leans in.

 

Jennie meets her halfway, catching her lips with a feverish intensity. Lisa lays down gently, a bit overwhelmed as Jennie grabs her collar to drag her down and deepen the kiss. Jennie faintly tastes like strawberries, and it’s so intoxicating that she doesn't immediately notice that she's wrapping her arms around Jennie so that they can be closer.


	2. and this is how i fall for you

Lisa hesitates from entering the garden, glancing around her to make sure that the area is truly empty and that no one would accidentally see her. She breathes out and steps forward into the garden after a moment.

 

Jennie lifts her head up when she hears someone walking towards her, but her features soften when she sees that it’s Lisa.

 

She smiles. “I didn't think you’d come.”

 

Lisa goes to hug her, but stops when she notices that Jennie’s hurt. She looks like she got into a fist fight. Lisa still engulfs her in a hug, all her previous exhaustion dissolving into air and replaced with worry because _why is Jennie fighting again this time?_ She doesn't want to let go, but finally pulls away to properly talk. “What happened to you?!” she scolds her, tapping her fist against Jennie’s temple as if Lisa was the oldest instead of the other way around.

 

“He deserved it,” Jennie answers simply, flinching away a bit so that Lisa didn't have to see the cut on her cheek.

 

Lisa grabs Jennie’s hand to inspect it. Jennie’s knuckles were badly bruised, but more worrisome was the fact that they seemed to still be bleeding lightly. If Jennie had hit this guy just a little bit harder, she might have dislocated her knuckles.

 

“You know I usually avoid fights, I promise I’ll try better.” Despite what Jennie said, Lisa still looks worried. “I’m fine, Lisa,” Jennie says while pulling back her hand. “I've gone through worse-”

 

Lisa’s eyebrows furrow. “That doesn't mean you should go through it in the first place.” She slips her bag off her shoulder to rummage through it.

 

“It’s really not that bad, Lisa,” Jennie tries to say, moving her fingers around and clenching her hand into a fist to show how much it doesn't hurt, but a flash of red pain spreads through her skin when she does so. “It doesn't even hurt, I swear,” Jennie tells her, hoping that maybe if she says it then it’ll be true. It isn't.

 

Lisa rolls her eyes. In the back of her mind, she remembers how they've been here before, with Lisa taking care of a short-tempered Jennie. Not much has changed, she can’t help but think to herself.

 

Lisa finally finds the bandages, taking note at how there’s so much less now. She makes a mental note to buy more later.

 

“You never told me why you bring these to school,” Jennie says off-handedly, staring at the item before taking it.

 

“Because you’re getting hurt every other day.” Lisa bumps Jennie’s forehead again.

 

“And before that?”

 

“Before you?”

 

“Yeah, before me. Why were you bringing them?”

 

Lisa stays quiet, biting her lower lip lightly. She helps Jennie put the bandages on.

 

“Fine, don’t tell me.” Jennie pouts, pressing the bandage over her hand a few times until it’s properly pressured, visibly flinching a couple times. “The bell already rung, you know. You should go before you're late,” Jennie points out, pulling out her phone to look at the time. “Ms Kim is a bitch, so don't make her mad.”

 

“Aren't you always making her mad?” Lisa chuckles, sitting down next to Jennie.

 

“Exactly. It's my job at this point.” Jennie frowns at Lisa’s indifference. “You really should go.”

 

Lisa stares at the ladybug climbing onto her shoelaces.

 

“You don't want to?” Jennie guesses, laying her head softly on Lisa’s shoulder and watching the ladybug with her.

 

Lisa slowly nods, a shaky breath whispering the word _yes_.

 

“Why?” Jennie asks bluntly, putting an arm around Lisa to bring her closer.

 

“Why weren't you here this morning?” Lisa asks after a moment instead of answering.

 

“I was beating some guy’s ass,” Jennie answers with full sincerity. “Hence why I look like shit, babe.”

 

“I’d rather you stay here with me,” Lisa admits.

 

Jennie bites her lower lip, turning away a bit to avoid smiling like an idiot. “This is a bad place to be if you’re scared, you know,” she tells her. “The roses are evil and feed off of negativity.”

 

Lisa can’t help but smile at Jennie’s antics.

 

“Seriously though, why did you come by here? You knew I wasn't in class earlier.”

 

“You’re here now,” Lisa mumbles as an answer. “You look lonely.”

 

Jennie raises an eyebrow. “I like being alone...?” She’s been so used to it that it isn't that weird of a feeling. If anything, she only ever misses being with Lisa, but that's a recent development if anything. She's been mostly alone for the past couple years and there's something peaceful about it.

 

Lisa lifts her eyes up to meet Jennie’s. “You look lonely,” she repeats.

 

Jennie sighs, bumping her forehead with Lisa’s. “ _Sure_ , whatever. So do you.”

 

Lisa can’t help but smile again.

 

“You’re not allowed to be lonely,” Jennie decides, putting an arm on Lisa and scooting closer. “Not if I can’t help it. So I’ll make sure I’m here for you, m’kay?”

 

Lisa feels her heart beat a little faster, but still doesn't say anything. The ladybug was starting to flutter its wings.

 

Lisa places a quick kiss on Jennie’s cheek, causing her to squeak in surprise.

 

“H-hey!” Jennie exclaims, pleasantly surprised and maybe wanting more but not wanting to say it.

 

Lisa smiles brightly, leaning a little closer to Jennie’s ear. “I need to tell you a secret.”

 

Jennie furrows her eyebrows, but nods, staying quiet so Lisa can continue.

 

“But!” Lisa continues, “You can’t tell anyone.”

 

“Okay…?”

 

The ladybug flies away as Lisa leans in to whisper in Jennie’s ear. “ _I love you._ ”

 

Jennie’s face completely reddens, eyes wide. She stumbles trying to say something but it sounds like a jumbled mess of letters rather than actual words.

 

Lisa tilts her head cutely, worried that her girlfriend is malfunctioning. “You okay?”

 

Jennie still tries to talk but her words are incoherent until, finally, she groans and breathes out to collect her thoughts. Then, “You caught me off guard!”

 

“Well…” Lisa wills herself not to laugh too early, “You caught my heart.”

 

Jennie groans, this time a tiny bit less embarrassed and more annoyed. “Stop it!”

 

“I’ll stop if you say it…” Lisa says, her voice a bit higher.

 

“Say what…?” Jennie plays dumb.

 

Lisa just giggles, satisfied.

 

~

 

“It’s been a while since we've talked, huh?” Jennie says randomly to Taehyung, feigning interest when really she just doesn't want to do their assigned project and would rather do small talk to pass the time. Also, Lisa wasn't paying attention to her, so Jennie's bored.

 

The boy lifts his head up, surprised that Kim Jennie was speaking to him. Then he smiles softly, like things _have_ changed. “I’d say I miss you but then I wouldn't mean it.”

 

Jennie's smile is treacherous. “You have a point.” She can't help but miss this.

 

“You seem happier lately,” Taehyung says casually.

 

Jennie raises an eyebrow. “You still care enough to notice?”

 

He takes a moment to answer, thinking about whether or not that’s true. “I guess I do.” He pauses again. “I hope you’re happier. You deserve to be happy.”

 

“That’s a bold claim.”

 

“It’s true, though!” the boy states quickly, voice loud.

 

“Be more quiet,” Jennie commands, pinching the bridge of her nose, suddenly regretting everything.

 

“It’s true…!”

 

Jennie rolls her eyes. “Sure it is, now get to work.”

 

“I wish things didn't happen the way they did,” he continues. “I should've been better. Acted different, done things differently-”

 

He’s interrupted by their third team member for this project, the one and only Lisa Manoban. “You really should learn when to shut up,” Lisa informs him helpfully, placing a hand on his shoulder and seeming a whole lot nicer than her words let on.

 

Jennie can’t help but smile to herself, though maybe that was a little _too_ rude.

 

Taehyung slumps into his chair. “A friend of mine told me he has a crush on you,” he tells Jennie, “but I felt like I shouldn't tell him. About anything. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable…?”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jennie tells him, taking pity in him. “If it makes you feel better, most everyone who doesn't know has a tiny crush on me anyways, so it doesn't matter. I’m too beautiful for you mortals.”

 

Lisa can’t help but laugh at that.

 

“I bet _you_ have a crush on me,” Jennie teases her.

 

Lisa’s face goes red again. “N-no.”

 

“That’d be weird!” their fourth group member, whose name escapes Jennie because she honestly didn't care enough to listen, chuckles and laughs and smiles as if the rotten words that came out of his mouth were simply just a joke.

 

Jennie sighs, mood dampening significantly. It’s nice to be around Lisa outside of the garden for once, hiding in plain sight with a world that doesn't question without proof. But now she feels uncomfortably vulnerable. Her lungs feel heavy as sudden exhaustion takes her system. She’d take the roses and their thousands of thorns over this. She’d take that over the fear. She’d take being pricked by a thousand fucking roses than reality staring down at her face and telling her she should be ashamed just for fucking existing. As much as she likes to keep a confident facade to pretend it doesn't hurt, it still manages to sneak up on her. And when it does, the pain feels unbearable, like nothing she could ever do will ease this awful feeling.

 

“No need to tell me twice,” she mumbles, mostly to herself. Jennie slumps, becoming smaller in her seat. She takes her pencil between her fingers a little tighter than usual and jots something down for the project.

 

Lisa scoots her seat a little closer, placing her hand over Jennie’s and stopping the older girl from writing. Jennie meets her eye. “We already finished that part,” Lisa tells her.

 

Then the younger girl takes their joined hands and hides them under the table, away from view. She squeezes lightly. It brings a faint smile to Jennie’s face, though her heart still feels heavy.

 

~

 

Jennie rarely cared enough to learn the names of the other students, especially if they weren't nice girls who smiled at her and made her heart beat faster, but there were a couple of exceptions.

 

Taehyung was, well… He was Taehyung. As much as she wanted to hate him, she couldn't find it in her to do so. He never tried to be rude, he never tried to make things worst. He was just a casualty, with his own secrets and his own white lies. If she hadn't known about the things he kept in his heart, maybe she could finally hate him just like she hated the rest of the school. A part of her honestly missed having him as a friend, as someone she could rely on and as the only other person she's close with who related to a closeted life. Well, the only other person she _was_ close with.

 

The only reason she still hadn't forgotten who Jeon Jungkook was is because of Taehyung’s 4 am phone calls to her back when they used to be friends, the desperate crying and the need for someone to just listen. Jungkook was a shy boy who was both amused and embarrassed at everything that had to do with his childhood friend Taehyung and, after Jennie stopped hanging out with them, he seemed to take pity in Jennie a bit though he never said or did anything to help. She found it easy to hate Jungkook, in part because of the pain he caused Tae and in part because he saw what was happening to her and said _nothing._

 

There were more to the bunch but none of them were important enough to remember anymore.

 

So, Jennie simply noticed how Jungkook stares a little too long at Lisa and would snap out of it only when one of his buddies, most likely Taehyung, pushed him by the shoulders and teased him over it.

 

She knew she didn’t need to pay attention, didn’t _have_ to, but her curiosity would make her notice.

 

One day, she was about to leave when she noticed that Jungkook was hanging around Lisa’s locker, almost pacing around like he didn’t want anyone to think he’s waiting for someone. One of his friends messed his hair up while someone else jeers about how adorable this is to watch, and then they leave at Jungkook’s insistence. When they’re gone, Jungkook does his best to fix his hair, seeming anxious about it.

 

Jennie knew there was no reason to go talk to him, but as soon as the boys leave she’s walking straight at him with a confrontation on her tongue.

 

She decides not to be so blunt at the last second. “What are you doing here, Kook?” she asks with fake interest, elbowing the boy to get his attention. She speaks to him in a familiar and friendly way, and it feels almost cringey to Jennie because they haven’t been friends exactly, even back when they kinda—sorta—were.

 

He looks mortified when he turns around and sees her, but quickly calms down. “You scared me, Jennie-yah!”

 

Jennie glares at him pointedly, taking personal offense.

 

Jungkook quickly catches on. “I’m sorry, I won’t call you that ever again!”

 

She can’t help but chuckle. “Hey, if you’re here to confess to Lisa or whatever, maybe you should not.”

 

“Confess?” he asks. “But I don’t like Lisa?”

 

Jennie gives him a patient smile. “Sure you don’t. Then what are you doing here then?”

 

He hesitates. “I… I wanted to talk to her. About something.”

 

Jennie waits for him to continue.

 

“It’s personal- Hi, Lisa!” Jungkook smiles with relief, though he still seems agitated and almost scared about something.

 

“H-hi, Jennie-yah?” Lisa says, bowing her head slightly before turning towards her lockers. Jennie almost laughs out loud at the awkward formality.

 

“We have a project to do, remember?” Jennie lies, mostly to give Jungkook an excuse to give up.

 

Jungkook nods to himself after a moment, but then turns towards Lisa. “H-hey, can we talk for a moment before you leave?”

 

Lisa hesitates, trying to find a way to say no, guessing that he’s probably going to confess. “I really don’t have the time-”

 

“It’ll be quick, I promise!”

 

“She said no,” Jennie tells him, getting between him and Lisa. After a beat, she adds, “Well, she meant to say no.”

 

Jungkook shakes his head. “It’s really important though,” he glances over Jennie’s shoulder to look at Lisa, “Time-sensitive. I really need to talk to you.”

 

Lisa sighs and gives in. “What is it?”

 

Jungkook smiles but glances at Jennie before turning back to Lisa. “Ah, I need to talk to you alone.”

 

“Too bad, Kook,” Jennie fakes an apologetic smile. “I’m not gonna leave-”

 

“Jennie, it’s fine,” Lisa tells her, smiling softly. “This shouldn’t take long. Can you wait for me?”

 

Jennie sighs, looking dramatically betrayed when she pouts. “Fine. I’ll be outside. If you take longer than five minutes, then I’m coming back.”

 

~

 

Jungkook paces for a bit after Jennie leaves, not sure that she’s really gone as he keeps glancing around them nervously, waiting for any sounds of nearby students to melt away.

 

“Something wrong?” Lisa asks, leaning against the lockers and watching Jungkook carefully.

 

Jungkook paces for a bit. “I know…” he tries to start but doesn’t know how to continue. “Um, I know I could’ve gone to Jennie but she scares me and, well, I feel like I need to get this off my chest and you seem like a good person to listen…”

 

Lisa’s eyebrows furrow but she doesn’t say anything.

 

Jungkook looks at her for a brief moment and then looks at the ground. “You can’t tell anyone.”

 

“About what?”

 

Jungkook just keeps pacing. “Just. Promise me you won’t. Please?”

 

Lisa nods after a moment. “I promise you. What’s wrong?”

 

“I… I notice things,” Jungkook stops pacing in front of Lisa to explain, hands moving around with nervous energy. “More than I should… You’re a nicer person than a lot of the people here.”

 

“I’m sure Chaeyoung is nicer, though,” Lisa mentions casually. Chae is pretty much _know_ _n_ for being the nicest girl in school.

 

“But… I feel like I can trust you. It's hard to trust anyone in this school, but you're different- I think you're different.”

 

Lisa looks at Jungkook directly. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m… I’m gay.”

 

“Oh.” The sudden confession takes her by surprise. Since she saw him waiting for her by the lockers, specifically wanting to talk to her without _anyone_ around, she expected that this would be a love confession and not a coming out. “That’s good, right?” she starts, trying to choose her words carefully.

 

He smiles sheepishly, looking at the ground. Then he _giggles_ , light and airy and happy. “It is…” It’s the first time she notices that his eyes are red and that he looks like he was about to cry. “It feels… It feels nice to say it out loud. Weird, but nice.”

 

She smiles at him, putting a hand over his shoulder. “You’ll get used to it. Before you know it, it’ll be like talking about the weather or something.”

 

His smile is so genuine that it makes Lisa happy he felt he could tell her. “I don’t know if that will ever be easy to say, but hopefully one day when it doesn’t matter?”

 

“Yeah,” she smiles at him and ruffles his hair a bit. “Though, why did you feel like you can tell me? What about your friends?”

 

He hesitates, but decides to answer truthfully anyway. “Honestly? I’m scared. I don’t know how they’ll react. I mean, look at what happened to Jennie-yah. She used to basically run this school, you know. Now none of my friends talk to her, so I'm scared they'd react badly...”

 

Lisa gives him a sad smile. “I kinda wish I was here back then. She shouldn’t have had to go through that alone. And, just so you know, you shouldn’t have to go through that either.”

 

“No one should.” Jungkook nods like he _gets_ it. Then there's a flash of pain on his eyes, of guilt and regret and shame. He shakes his head, maybe to rid himself of a past he can no longer control. “Hey, thanks for letting me tell you. I don’t like having to keep it a secret, but now that you know I feel more confident. I feel less alone now.”

 

“If it’s not too much, can I ask who made you realize it?”

 

Jungkook goes bright red.

 

~

 

“So, did he confess?” Jennie asks bluntly. They were in Lisa's room for an impromptu study session, though Jennie wasn't trying too hard.

 

“Not really,” Lisa answers, writing an answer on her homework after verifying she's correct through a quick googling of the answer.

 

Jennie chuckles. “He was so nervous, did he back out at the last second or something?”

 

Lisa lifts her gaze up to meet Jennie's eyes. It really wasn't her place to say anything, but she didn't want to lie to Jennie. “He actually doesn't like me.”

 

Jennie laughs loudly. “Aww, poor kid! He _did_ back out then!”

 

Lisa shakes her head, though she can't help her smile. It's nice to hear Jennie laugh. “I can't tell you what happened, but you don't have to worry about him stealing me away.”

 

Jennie raises an eyebrow. “What you mean? Why can't you tell me?”

 

“He was talking about something personal. He just wanted someone to listen and he trusted me enough to tell me.”

 

Jennie nods, though she pouts. “I guess that makes sense.”

 

~

 

After studying for a whole thirty minutes, Jennie had ended up rummaging through Lisa’s stuff for something fun to do.

 

“Why are you in my closet?” Lisa asks, amused and distracted from being a responsible student.

 

Jennie holds up a framed picture, where a tiny, squishy-cheeked Lisa smiles proudly, surrounded by friends in what looks to be a birthday party. Jennie all about squeals, “You look so cute!” and gushes over the picture.

 

Lisa gets up quickly and snatches the picture from Jennie’s hands. “Hey, that’s hidden for a reason…!”

 

Jennie pouts, trying to grab the picture back. “Wait, I haven’t finished enjoying it yet!” Something shines in the closet and Jennie goes to grab it, but accidentally pulls down a hoodie, which just so happened to have an entire opened packet of black-colored glitter in its pockets that falls on top of Jennie. Glitter pours out all over Jennie.

 

Lisa stares at the picture, having not noticed Jennie’s little problem yet. “I haven’t seen this in a long time,” she says before leaning back and sitting down in her chair, placing the picture on her desk.

 

“Shit, shit, shit…” Jennie curses to herself while she tries to dust herself off of the black glitter, only making it worse since it sticks to her shirt’s fabric and keeps getting _everywhere._ “Lisa!”

 

“What?” Lisa lifts her head up to see a very shiny and very pissed Jennie. The fact that Jennie’s jacket is as black as the glitter only makes her glowing look more intense.

 

“Why do you have so much glitter?!” Jennie demands an answer, desperately trying to collect the glitter and get it off of her but it keeps _spreading._

 

Lisa smiles evilly, slowly putting a hand in her pockets and pulling out a fresh packet of extra shiny pink glitter. She sprinkles some on top of Jennie’s head.

 

Jennie sucks in a breath and slowly turns towards Lisa, glaring red. And black. And pink. She’s just kinda glaring in very glittery colors right now.

 

Lisa just poofs some more pink glitter on to Jennie’s face.

 

“Lisa!” Jennie pounces, jumping onto Lisa and crawling on top of her to try and get the glitter off of her by passing it onto Lisa instead. “What the fuck!”

 

Lisa just laughs uncontrollably at Jennie’s efforts, face heating up. Soon enough, she notices their positions and starts coughing instead.

 

“Oh shit, you okay?” Jennie stops, sitting up and patting Lisa’s back. “Did some of the glitter get in your mouth?”

 

“No-” Lisa finishes choking in her awkwardness, “It’s fine, it’s fine.”

 

Jennie pouts, hugging her close and rubbing circles on her back. She rubs her glittery face on the crook of Lisa’s neck after Lisa calms down, somehow seeming even more like a cat. “Seriously though, why do you have so much glitter?”

 

Lisa smiles shyly. “It’s fun…”

 

Jennie hides her face so Lisa can’t see how much she’s trying not to laugh. “You absolute child, _I love you._ ”

 

Lisa smiles widely, tackling Jennie in a hug. “I made you say it!” she cheers, kissing Jennie’s cheek.

 

Jennie pouts, but she can’t help but like the affection she’s receiving.

 

“Hey, look at the bright side…”

 

Jennie glares at her. “Lisa, my face _is_ a bright side. Literally. You made me extra glittery.”

 

“It’s getting dark outside, but you’re like a walking nightlight now.” Lisa giggles.

 

Jennie just continues pouting, already planning her revenge. “Are you doing anything this Saturday?”

 

“Not really?”

 

Jennie smiles mischievously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be longer but i didn't know where to cut it and make everything still flow nicely so! this chap is shorter but next week's is gonna be a lot more plot heavy and angsty. i mainly just wanted to introduce jk and tae this chapter cuz their side stuff is important later. drama! and a lot of pain. so enjoy this fluff cuz ohoho its not gonna last long my gays.


	3. and this is the calm before the storm

“You still have glitter in your hair,” Lisa points out with affection in her voice as she twirls a lock of Jennie’s hair between her fingers. It had been two days since Lisa had attacked Jennie with glitter, and perhaps Lisa was starting to feel bad about the shiny aftermath.

 

Jennie had laid her head over Lisa’s lap and had been relatively quiet while reading, but she lowered her book a bit and grabbed the lock of her hair Lisa was playing with. Sure enough, there’s were dots of bright pink glitter. Jennie sighs loudly, her scowl growing, and goes back to her book. “That’s _your_ fault. I’ve been trying to get it all out but it’s like a disease or something and I just keep finding more. I found some in my bra this morning! I don’t know how! I wasn’t even wearing that bra when I came over!”

 

Lisa’s eyes widen. “Why weren’t you wearing a bra when you came over?” she asks and her voice is high and awkward.

 

Jennie closes her book again and lightly hits Lisa with it. “That’s not what I meant!”

 

Both of their faces go pink though.

 

“What _did_ you mean?” Lisa asks, voice still high-pitched, laughing nervously.

 

~

 

Jennie answers after the fourth ring. “Fuck… _off…_ ”

 

Lisa sighs exasperatedly. “Wake up! I’ve been waiting for the last twenty minutes!”

 

 _Click_.

 

Lisa glares down at her phone. “Did she really…”

 

In her room, Jennie was simply shifting on her bed to sleep on her side. She had gone to sleep about two hours ago and she just wasn’t feeling like going to school today.

 

Lisa tries to call her again, but Jennie just ignores it.

 

“Stop ignoring me!” Lisa hisses to herself just as an idea enters her brain.

 

Lisa connects her phone to Jennie’s bluetooth system. She giggles mischievously as she puts the volume on max and starts to pick out what song to play.

 

Jennie wakes up with a bang. A literal bang. Lisa’s decided to play Bang Bang Bang out of all the songs she could’ve chosen.

 

~

 

“You need to do better at school!” Lisa scolds her as she prepares breakfast toast.

 

“Yeah, yeah…” Jennie yawns, her eyes starting to close again.

 

“Why are you so tired?” Lisa asks, still grumbly at Jennie for ignoring her before.

 

“I just…” Jennie tries to answer but has to stop and yawn again, “I just am…” Her eyes are closed again, heavy with so much sleep. Her head ends up hitting the table and she jolts awake again. “By the way! You left a packet of glitter last time you were here.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“You already ate breakfast, right?” Jennie asks, and Lisa can practically _hear_ her smile.

 

“Yeah, but I know that you skip it a bunch so I’m making sure you stop skipping it and-” Lisa stops when she turns around and notices that Jennie had gotten a lot closer to her.

 

It’s the first time she notices that Jennie’s wearing one of Lisa’s shirt, was probably sleeping in it before Lisa woke her up and hasn’t changed out of it yet. It’s the one Lisa had left last time when she ended up having to stay overnight, and it reminds Lisa that she still hasn’t given Jennie her own shirt back either. She wants to tell Jennie to put on more presentable clothing, but a sudden affection takes her heart and she can’t help but love how good Jennie looks in her shirt. It’s so _undeniable-_

 

Jennie notices that Lisa’s distracted with whatever and hasn’t seen the packet of glitter in her hands. She sprinkles bright pink glitter onto Lisa’s face.

 

~

 

They almost don’t make it in time, just a few minutes before the bell rings. Jennie yawns as she turns the engine off.

 

Lisa opens the door and she’s about to bolt out of the car when Jennie grabs her by the hand.  


“Lisa, wait-”  


Lisa pouts, slowly turning back to her girlfriend. She isn’t really mad about the glitter attack anymore, considering it _was_ revenge and she _did_ deserve it, but she still feels like pouting and being grumpy despite not having any reason to be.

 

Jennie pats Lisa’s head, trying to dust off the stray glitter. She pulls Lisa down and fumbles over the glitter. “Ugh, it’s everywhere.”

 

Lisa can’t help but giggle, closing the car door for now. “Don’t worry, it’s just glitter.” Jennie still continues to try and remove all of the sparkly shit out of Lisa’s hair and face. “This happens to me all the time, Jennie, you don’t have to-”

 

“Yeah, but it might be suspicious…” Jennie says in a low whisper, now frustrated with how little she’s able to do. The glitter keeps spreading, sticking on Lisa’s clothes and looking even more obvious on her jacket. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have attacked you with glitter that before we came here.”

 

“It’s _fine_ ,” Lisa reassures her, taking Jennie’s hand in hers. Jennie still tries to continue, but Lisa makes her stop by kissing the top of her hand.

 

Lisa can’t help but giggle at how Jennie completely stops moving after that, taken completely off-guard with this small act of romance.

 

“Now, let’s go-”

 

“You have some on your lips now,” Jennie interrupts her. “It’s distracting me.”

 

Before Lisa can realize what’s happening, Jennie’s kissing her, pulling back almost immediately after planting her lips on Lisa’s. It’s so brief, but that just makes Lisa want more.

 

Sure enough, now Jennie has a tiny speck of glitter that she quickly removes with the back of her thumb.

 

Jennie smiles sheepishly, “Now we can go.”

 

Lisa bites her lower lip. “Mornings should last longer when I’m with you,” she says as she pulls Jennie’s face back towards her.

 

~

 

They’re not late to their classes, but they _are_ late to keeping up presentation.

 

“Where were you this morning?!” Chaeyoung asks as soon as Lisa arrives to first period. “You missed morning practice!”

 

“Good morning to you too…”

 

Chaeyoung glares at her, too annoyed with Lisa to play into their banter.

 

Lisa sighs. “I was really tired this morning because I ended up pulling an all-nighter yesterday,” she lies. A beat passes. “Or today. Or both days? So I didn’t have the energy to come early.”

 

Chaeyoung seems to soften. “We _do_ have midterms coming up.” She nods, accepting the excuse. “Don’t overwork yourself, okay? We’re cheer-partners, but I care about your well-being first.”

 

At that moment, the teacher walks in. Lisa feels that Chaeyoung still wanted to say something, but the class starts so they both decide to pause this conversation until later.

 

~

 

Jennie’s having a bit of a bad day. Just a bit. Only a tiny, teeny bit. She feels sick and terrible and she isn’t entirely sure why. She’s getting that awfully human feeling of wanting someone to just hold her and never let her go, and she’s currently trying to convince herself that loneliness isn’t a disease so she can’t just randomly use that as an excuse to convince Lisa to skip a couple classes with her. She tries to tell herself that that won’t make it better… But it also won’t make it worst.

 

Her head’s pounding incessantly and there’s a sort of sickness bubbling in her stomach. Jennie lays down on the bench, feeling too terrible to even feel bad about being so pathetic.

 

She loses track of time. Maybe minutes have passed, maybe hours, maybe the bell has rung and the day is over and the world has, as expected, moved on without her.

 

She loses track of time. The wild roses mock her with their romantic appeal. She misses Lisa.

 

“Fuck you,” Jennie says to the roses for some reason, most likely over a misplaced sense of anger towards them.

 

“Hello?” a female voice calls out, but it’s not the one Jennie wants to hear.

 

“And fuck _you_ ,” Jennie says again, this time directed to the voice, though her tone is softer with less of her usual venom.

 

“ _Aish_ , don’t be rude to your elders, Jendeuki,” Jisoo scolds her.

 

Jennie sits up slowly, hoping it isn’t obvious that she’s not okay. “Why are you here?” Jennie asks her.

 

“We have fifth period together and you weren’t there,” Jisoo explains. “I know I saw you this morning so I knew you were skipping.” Jisoo looks at her and there’s something like pity in her voice. “And I was gonna rat you out, but you don’t seem well so I’m not going to. It’s no fun when you’re sick.”

 

“Since when do _you_ care?” Jennie answers as she lays back down.

 

“You heard the rumors?” Jisoo asks carefully.

 

“Yup,” is all Jennie says in response.

 

Jisoo nods, sighing. “I tried to tell them that it’s just Lisa being Lisa, but they won’t listen.”

 

“They’re so disgusting but they act like _I’m_ the one who isn’t human,” Jennie complains. “All of them, every single one of them, including _you_.”

 

“You’re right,” Jisoo says just to say something. She doesn’t feel anything. Instead, she just moves a stray hair away from Jennie’s face and waits for her to continue.

 

“This isn’t fair. People like me shouldn’t be treated like this,” Jennie continues, feeling her eyes get heavy with sleep again. “I hate this fucking school.”

 

“I know you do.” Jisoo takes a few steps to go, but stops herself. “Want me to take you home?”

 

Jennie’s brow furrows. “You’ll miss your classes.”

 

Jisoo laughs a bit. “Some things are more important than that, Jennie-yah.”

 

~

 

“So…” Jungkook says after pacing for a minute. “What are you planning on doing?” he asks and his voice is uncharacteristically high, most probably because he’s worried of all of this.

 

“This never happened at my old school,” Lisa tells him, wrapping her arms around herself. “Everyone tried to be a decent human being over there. Sure, they gossiped and spread rumors all the time, but they didn’t act like this.”

 

Jungkook sighs, knowing very well just how shitty the people here are. “So, you don’t have any plans on how to deal with it?”

 

“My parents already know, Jungkook,” Lisa says as if she can’t really bring herself to care.

 

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “They do?!”

 

“Yup. I told them the last time I called.” Lisa thinks back to the phone call and it brings a smile to her face. “Heh, Dad was glad about it. He was all worried that I’d start dating bad boys when I moved here because he wasn’t here to stop me.” Lisa laughs a bit to herself as she remembers. “They were really happy that I was happy.”

 

“Doesn’t Jennie-yah count as a bad _girl_ , though?” Jungkook asks, laughing a bit too.

 

“Shush!”

 

“It’s good that your parents know, but this school…” Jungkook flinches. “You see how they treat Jennie.”

 

“Everyone important to me already know, and also you.” Lisa’s eyebrows furrow. “But not my friends. I don’t want to hide that I’m happy to them. They seem so worried about me and I hate it, because it’s not something to feel bad about.”

 

“I don’t want to hide either.”

 

They stay quiet for a moment, the silence comforting.

 

“I think Taehyung knows that I’m hiding,” Jungkook says suddenly. “I feel like I need to make sure he doesn’t know. He’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose our friendship because of this.”

 

“Kook…” Lisa starts off slowly, knowing that she needs to pick her words well, “You shouldn’t be friends with people that don’t accept you.”

 

“I think he would accept me,” there’s a sad smile on his lips, “But he wouldn’t stay with me. If he didn’t stay for Jennie-yah, he isn’t going to stay with _me_.”

 

“Were they friends before?” Lisa asks, genuinely curious about it. She hasn’t had the chance to ask Jennie about it yet.

 

“They used to date.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“He really cared about Jennie,” Jungkook tells her, “Cared a lot about her well-being, about how she was doing. He didn’t care that his feelings weren’t returned, he just cared for _her_.”

 

“Oh,” is all Lisa can say.

 

“Sometimes…” Jungkook hesitates to continue, but does so anyway. “Sometimes I think he didn’t really love her as anything other than a friend. I think he knew and was trying to help her hide it.”

 

~

 

Chaeyoung leans dramatically across the table, almost bumping Lisa’s water bottle. “ _So_ ,” she starts. “You and Jungkook, huh?”

 

“Me and Jungkook?” Lisa asks, completely confused though much more worried about her water bottle spilling onto her homework papers. She moves the bottle a safe distance away and sighs in relief.

 

“You didn’t tell me you guys were _dating!_ ” Chaeyoung whines, sitting back down.

 

“You’re dating _Jungkook?_ ” Jisoo asks in turn.

 

Chaeyoung turns to Jisoo, glad to have someone to gossip with even though Lisa is sitting right across from them. “I was surprised too! Lisa always complained about how annoying he was being, but I bet she was just playing hard to get.”

 

Lisa coughs awkwardly. “Um, guys?”

 

“What about that weird rumor with-” Jisoo’s about to continue, but Chaeyoung all about flinches.

 

“Old news!” Chaeyoung shouts. “Fake!”

 

“ _Guys-_ ”

 

“Liskook for the win!”

 

Lisa has to physically stop herself from cringing.

 

“I was worried that Lisa might get kicked out of the cheerleading team, but if it’s Kookie then there shouldn’t be a problem with the team.”

 

“The team?”

 

~

 

“We need to talk,” Jisoo says to Chaeyoung all of a sudden, giving up completely on getting any studying done when she’s so worried about everything.

 

“What are you mad about _this_ time?” Chaeyoung says jokingly, glad that she doesn’t have to pretend to study just to appease Jisoo.

 

Jisoo would get angry at Chae’s passive-aggressiveness, but she’s too worried to get hung up on it. “It’s serious. Really serious.”

 

Chaeyoung raises an eyebrow, but nods for her to continue.

 

“The rumors were true,” Jisoo tells her, biting her lower lip.

 

“Which ones?” Chaeyoung asks, confused.

 

“The one with Jennie.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Jisoo grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers. “I’m worried about what might happen.”

 

Chaeyoung nods after a moment. “But Lisa has Jungkook, right? That should push the rumors away, right?”

 

Jisoo looks down. “I don’t know,” she admits.

 

“Hey,” Chaeyoung puts a hand under Jisoo’s chin and lifts her gaze back up. “Everything will be fine, okay?”

 

“She’s a _kid_ , Chae.” Jisoo pushes her hand away. She tries to calm herself down, feeling too emotional over this subject. “She doesn’t know how bad it can get! I can’t just watch it happen again-”

 

“Please don’t cry.” Chaeyoung hugs Jisoo close to her to try and calm her down. “I prefer when you’re getting angry at me for stupid things, I don’t like it when you cry.”

 

Jisoo laughs but there’s no humor, tightening her arms around Chaeyoung.

 

~

 

It’s early morning and Jennie wishes she felt comfortable, happy even, to be here next to the girl she loves. She wishes that the roses had a pretty smell, one with no bad memories connected to them, one that could make her smile over how romantic they were. She wishes that she liked this place as much as she once did years ago, that she didn’t feel trapped around it’s safety, lost within its freedom. She wishes history would stop repeating itself.

 

She inhales sharply, tries to stagger a heavy breath. She’s the first one to speak up.

 

“Did you hear the rumors?” Jennie asks Lisa.

 

Lisa doesn’t answer. She continues to draw on her notebook, but she’s holding her pencil tighter.

 

“You could’ve told me, you know,” Jennie tells her, sitting up from the bench and taking a few steps forwards.

 

“I didn’t know what else to do,” Lisa explains herself, putting the notebook down.

 

Jennie nods, looks away when she says, “I know. Trust me, I wish I could blame you but I can’t. Not with the way things are.”

 

“I tried to tell them, but they wouldn’t listen.” Lisa pulls her legs up, trying to make herself as small as possible.

 

“It’s probably for the best.” Jennie, noticing the shift, leans down and pats the younger girl’s head. “Hey, it’s not your fault, don’t worry about it.”

 

Lisa shuts her eyes tightly, willing the tears to stay back.

 

“I love you,” Jennie tells her, still patting her head, and her voice is sweet so it makes the pain a bit more bearable.

 

It brings a faint smile to Lisa's face. “I know.”

 

“I don’t know how long this will last,” Jennie says with a low voice, “But I don’t want to let go of you yet.”

 

“I love you too,” Lisa says as if that’s the answer to all of Jennie’s questions. “Please don’t leave,” her voice shakes.

 

“I won’t,” Jennie says as she sits back down again.

 

“We’ll get through this,” Lisa tells her, laying her head on Jennie’s shoulder.

 

Jennie shifts her position so that Lisa can be more comfortable. She can’t help but lean into Lisa’s touch.

 

The bell rings, signaling the start of a new day.

 

“You have a class soon,” Jennie reminds her, her voice urgent.

 

Lisa couldn’t help but smile, poking at Jennie’s side. “So do _you_.”

 

Jennie smiles back. “I can’t let the teacher think I’m a good student. It’d ruin my street cred.”

 

“You really should put a little more effort, you know.” Lisa cuddles more into Jennie’s side, if only just for them to be closer for another passing minute.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unrelated to the chapter, but did y'all listen to Kiss & Make Up yet??!! (i ~honestly~ had kinda low expectations so i was blown away with how good it was!)

**Author's Note:**

> For now, updates will be every week cuz life, but I have this entire fic planned out and Oh Boy. Also, I had to move from my previous school because they had a huge homophobia problem, so just know that I'm writing this based on that experience.
> 
> I'll be replying to comments whenever I'm able to~
> 
> Find me on twitter @sonhyewolf for occasional writing updates. Have a good day, love! And, by the way, I'm happy you're here uwu


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